the Big Man upstairs

You touched me today.

You really got through to the toughest.

admiration is the higgest point of my thoughts of You today.

you catch me doing it all the time.

wow, you are.

i can't even think of a word to fit your description. you're so different than the other girls that i really have no idea what i want from you.

like a relationship sounds too much to ask for, but being your 'whatever' isn't good enough.

my mom calls me a 'hunter' meaning: i seek excitement from girls. no, i don't. i just want a girl that keeps me on my toes, gives me a rumble of feelings when i look at her smiles when she gets awkward and shy.

that's you, or atleast how i see you.

i don't know what you're doing with that boy, urgh. playing him perhaps? perhaps.

i want to be corny and cliche with you, get emotional and stuff. i don't want to want that, because girls fuck around. you fuck around. with that being said i have to contradict myself and say that i want you.

i want you.

go fuck yourself, lady.

wow, you should really go fuck yourself. not because you're a bad person just because i came to the point where i want you to do nothing more than just to go fuck yourself.

you really screwed me up girl. wow.

i faithfuly forever put you in my heart and i've come to the conclusion that it was the biggest mistake that i have ever made. yet i don't want to learn from it. i hope i meet a girl like you again someday so that i can tell to go fuck herself before i even lay a hand upon her. just so that she knows that i do not need her shit.

games, disgusting behaviour, wanting me to be your secret love affair, empty promises, treating me like shit after the break-up, being the best fucker i have ever encounterd, having the prettiest smile, the most beautiful face and being and absolute fuck about everything.

go get yourself a man because he's going to make it all beter, too bad he didn't and you hurt him just like you hurt me. you love girls once, you're going to love them forever. no guy could take away the pleasure i gave you, remember that you selfish fuck.

show me that you give a fuck then maybe i'll change my opinion about you, but since that is never going to happen i might aswell just leave it. God, we were the 'it' couple. i don't even care that we broke up just the way that you handled it all was so fucking wrong.

now i have nothing to say to you anymore. i hope you get the help that you need.

my head is spinning. i'm a little high, high on anger and ignorance.
you really do a lot to me and i don't know how to handle it all.
you make me so fucking angry, but yet you make me fall in love with you.
i hate the way you handle things and in the same breath i like it.

wow, i'm a little more fucked than i thought i was.

i think i need you to make the effort, my lovely.
i'm done with that.
the invitation is at your door now and you will choose what to do with it.
i will be waiting for the 8th of January.
i won't remind you.
i want you to remind me that you're coming.
we havn't spoken in a while and i don't think you miss me half as much as i miss you.
that is a fucking fact.

cheats.

you're so fucking empty that it makes me sick. do you have no heart at all? do you think that i'm dancing and singing because you're married? what the fuck.

right now, i don't even want to be your girlfriend anymore. That's how much i hate it right now. Hate it to be in this position with you. i wish so hard that you would just open your fucking eyes.

but you propably wouldn't and you will propably continue taking me for granted.

go fuck yourself.

the bottle.

what a crazy fucking night.

found some things i never would have imagined to find.

i love this.

ahh :)

relationship mess.

now all i can think about is you. why do you have to be so damn difficult?
you're so easy going, it's ridicilous, wow.

i get so effing frustrated with you and you're problems. what about me? i'm too generous to even think about myself and about what i need and why? because i want to make you a happy girl.

that's bullshit.

everytime i'm so ready to leave you, you convince me otherwise. every single time. i say to myself:"okay, i'm going to leave you today. today is the damn day" then i see and everything changes. you have this uncontrolable hold over me and i can't cut you loose.

pretty girls and their bagage shit. drives me insane. you're so damn incosiderate, but yet i crave that inconsideration just because it's you that i want. now i'm the one that is being ridicolous. if you had to read this you'd propably think that your girlfriend is a phsycho. truth is, i just like you a little too much.

back down a little.

life of a  gay teen, it's damn messy.